The words before all the other words
Before HER, our child, it was me, his mother. And him, his father. We were just the two of us together, with our life together. With our families, our friends and our jobs, our pleasures and pains. Until one moment in which all that we had wasn’t enough anymore and something had to come for us to remain a hole. Something bigger than us and all ours pleasures and pains. The meaning.
So, when we didn’t expect anyone anymore, she came. And, after the initial sock, everything started to smile back to us. And we smiled and we cried and we made plans and we took out the furniture in the house and we painted the walls in white.
But when the most courageous child in the Universe stops from his first cry at your chest, everything else becomes smaller and smaller and all that remains is HIM. And you start a new life from zero, the parent life. In which you don’t even know how to breath, how to exist without HIM.
And you smile again through an ocean of tears and worries and sleepless nights and questions you don’t know how to answer. It’s the supreme smile because at last you see how everything makes sense. Because we are not two anymore, now we are three, a family. Our family.
Now this family is everything and no, this is not a cliche from the movies. Is the truth, my truth, our truth. Because the biggest gift you can receive is to be able to take care of your family. To keep them healthy, happy, to support them in everything they do, to be the shoulder to cry on. To give them the courage to explore all the fears and fantasies, to build experiences and memories and moments of life. A beautiful and full life.
I wanted so much to tell her how I feel, because even if I do that all the time, sometimes today we forget what was most important yesterday. And I really wanted our feelings and memories to remain documented in written words, for HER to read them now, with us and alone, later.